Hello Dear Friends. Cohere had a sad and terrible loss this week. I wanted to share what went down in case your community ever has to face it.
ps. it’s the worst.
Angel, I’m so sorry to hear it. Thank you for sharing your moving story.
With any luck, your words and the positive actions that come from this tragedy will help others get on a better track.
Hugs to you.
Tony
···
On Mar 17, 2016, at 11:48 AM, Angel Kwiatkowski [email protected] wrote:
Hello Dear Friends. Cohere had a sad and terrible loss this week. I wanted to share what went down in case your community ever has to face it.
ps. it’s the worst.
–
Visit this forum on the web at http://discuss.coworking.com
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I think about things like this from time-to-time, but it’s heartbreaking to hear about it actually happening. Hugs hugs hugs.
This spirograph metaphor is incredible, too. Take your time answering, but I’m curious…is that something you’d been thinking about before this awful tragedy or did it just crystalize while you’ve been processing?
···
On Thu, Mar 17, 2016 at 2:24 PM, Tony Bacigalupo [email protected] wrote:
Angel, I’m so sorry to hear it. Thank you for sharing your moving story.
With any luck, your words and the positive actions that come from this tragedy will help others get on a better track.
Hugs to you.
Tony
On Mar 17, 2016, at 11:48 AM, Angel Kwiatkowski [email protected] wrote:
Hello Dear Friends. Cohere had a sad and terrible loss this week. I wanted to share what went down in case your community ever has to face it.
ps. it’s the worst.
–
Visit this forum on the web at http://discuss.coworking.com
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The #1 mistake in community building is doing it by yourself.
Join the list: http://coworkingweekly.com
Listen to the podcast: http://dangerouslyawesome.com/podcast
Angel - thanks for sharing this.
I’ve come across gallons of depression in working for yourself and just trying to make life work - this story will strike a chord with many in my community.
No just to be clear, no one has committed suicide but the dark stuggles are certainly there.
As Tony said - Hugs 
···
On 17 March 2016 at 17:48, Angel Kwiatkowski [email protected] wrote:
Hello Dear Friends. Cohere had a sad and terrible loss this week. I wanted to share what went down in case your community ever has to face it.
ps. it’s the worst.
–
Visit this forum on the web at http://discuss.coworking.com
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Have a remarkable day
Bernie J Mitchell
0777 204 2012
Sent from my mobile device
*Unless we agree otherwise, this email conversation is confidential.
Thank you for sharing this story. The spirograph is a beautiful way to describe the complexity of our connections and how we can support each other by being present. Suicide is heart breaking and it impacts so many people especially those closest. I applaud you for speaking out and creating a dialog about a subject many find difficult. My hope is that we can all begin to talk more openly about depression and other struggles that we face as human beings. Three years ago we started a conversation at our coworking space called “Holding the Space- a conversation about all things spiritual” and we meet every Monday at noon, starting with a 4 min meditation. From there it is a free wheeling conversation that is lightly facilitated. It is simply a conversation where people can go deeper and share our experiences, ideas, wonder and yes sometimes our struggles. It has turned into one of the most enjoyable hour and a half meetings I attend each week. The connections are meaningful and enjoyable.
I believe there is a need for this kind of “holding the space” where we can share a little more of our personal experiences and show up for each other now and then in a different way. My hope is that more coworking spaces will consider hosting such discussions.
Thanks again for sharing your story…it may help to move such important conversations out into the open and in doing so it may help save lives.
Cindi
xo
···
On Thu, Mar 17, 2016 at 1:48 PM, Angel Kwiatkowski [email protected] wrote:
Hello Dear Friends. Cohere had a sad and terrible loss this week. I wanted to share what went down in case your community ever has to face it.
ps. it’s the worst.
–
Visit this forum on the web at http://discuss.coworking.com
You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups “Coworking” group.
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–
Cindi Abribat
610-223-5569
TEA Factory Co
create, community, collaborate
Partner/Co-Founder TEA Factory Co
Oh Angel, that is really really awful. I’m so sorry to hear your community is facing that, and very much appreciate the time you took to wrote the article. The spirograph metaphor is lovely.
As someone mentioned in the article comments, it is really difficult for the friends and family to not believe they could have done more, to not have thousands of regrets: could have done this or that and the outcome would be different. At my former company - which operated very much like a coworking space - we lost one of our beloved longest-time staff to suicide. I was able to bring in a counselor to help us work through our shock and guilt and loss and remorse and all those horrible regrets. Over time many of us have come to understand that we did love him enough, that we held him as close as we could and supported him over and over in the dark days that we knew he was having. But for him, the pain he suffered was greater than the love and support he had, and he made his choice. So I guess my long winded point is that it is absolutely vital to be part of that spirograph of support you so elegantly describe and to look up always and pay attention to each other, and to make sure the people you know have those friendships and connection. That way, even if in the end for some people it isn’t enough, it will be better to have contributed what you could and watched out for each other so maybe it won’t happen again, and someone else may not make that choice.
hugs
···
On Thursday, March 17, 2016 at 5:48:49 PM UTC, Angel Kwiatkowski wrote:
Hello Dear Friends. Cohere had a sad and terrible loss this week. I wanted to share what went down in case your community ever has to face it.
ps. it’s the worst.
Alex,
I honestly don’t know. Hearing the new, making the analogy, acquiring the spirograph and writing the post all happened in 24 hours. Not sure if the spiro was kicking around in my head before or what. Whatever happened, the creative muse landed squarely on me for this one.
···
On Thursday, March 17, 2016 at 1:03:20 PM UTC-6, Alex Hillman wrote:
I think about things like this from time-to-time, but it’s heartbreaking to hear about it actually happening. Hugs hugs hugs.
This spirograph metaphor is incredible, too. Take your time answering, but I’m curious…is that something you’d been thinking about before this awful tragedy or did it just crystalize while you’ve been processing?
The #1 mistake in community building is doing it by yourself.
Join the list: http://coworkingweekly.com
Listen to the podcast: http://dangerouslyawesome.com/podcast
On Thu, Mar 17, 2016 at 2:24 PM, Tony Bacigalupo [email protected] wrote:
Angel, I’m so sorry to hear it. Thank you for sharing your moving story.
With any luck, your words and the positive actions that come from this tragedy will help others get on a better track.
Hugs to you.
Tony
On Mar 17, 2016, at 11:48 AM, Angel Kwiatkowski [email protected] wrote:
Hello Dear Friends. Cohere had a sad and terrible loss this week. I wanted to share what went down in case your community ever has to face it.
ps. it’s the worst.
–
Visit this forum on the web at http://discuss.coworking.com
You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups “Coworking” group.
To unsubscribe from this group and stop receiving emails from it, send an email to [email protected].
For more options, visit https://groups.google.com/d/optout.
–
Visit this forum on the web at http://discuss.coworking.com
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Thank you to everyone who commented or shared the story. I have to hope that it’s helping–even a little bit if we talk more openly about mental health. Cindi: super LOVE your Holding Space meeting idea. Seems like a perfect Monday morning activity for coworking communities.
Shine on, ya’ll.
Angel
···
On Thursday, March 17, 2016 at 11:48:49 AM UTC-6, Angel Kwiatkowski wrote:
Hello Dear Friends. Cohere had a sad and terrible loss this week. I wanted to share what went down in case your community ever has to face it.
ps. it’s the worst.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts…emotions…processing…with us. Our community here will keep your community in our thoughts & prayers as you grieve and heal.
···
On Thursday, March 17, 2016 at 11:48:49 AM UTC-6, Angel Kwiatkowski wrote:
Hello Dear Friends. Cohere had a sad and terrible loss this week. I wanted to share what went down in case your community ever has to face it.
ps. it’s the worst.
Angel, I’m really sorry to hear the news about Bill and thank you so much for sharing this with the group. I’m sending as many good vibes and virtual hugs to Fort Collins as I can right now.
I read your blog post and found your spirograph analogy to be extremely moving and apt.
I had a similar thing happen when a member passed away from a complication with alcohol abuse and medications last summer. Let’s call him Bob. Like Bill, Bob had left the community shortly before and his passing was a shock to the entire community.
Bob had actually left our community on a rather bad note and I felt conflicted on what to do when I learned about his passing. For the first day or two, I didn’t share the information and everything was business as usual as no one in the community had found out. I conferred with my staff and some of our oldest members and they all suggested to not announce it and to not publicly recognize Bob’s passing. This didn’t sit well with me and I decided that we had to announce it and at the suggestion of someone else who knew him (not a member), I decided to host a wake in Bob’s honor.
The only reason I’m bringing any of this up is that you wrote there’s no manual for what to do in this type of situation. I felt the exact same way. I was completely clueless on how to handle it and felt in many ways that I was responsible for handling this. Bob died penniless and donated his body to science. There would be no funeral or memorial of any kind for him if I didn’t take action. And despite going against what many said to do, we held the wake. And it was the best thing we could have ever done.
I’m not sure if you’ve opened this up to your community via announcement and then discussed it informally or whether you’ve had an event, but I would absolutely recommend hosting an event if you can to remember Bill. But most importantly (as I learned), it’s not about remembering Bill, but giving your community (and anyone else who knew Bill) the opportunity to see the entire breadth of the spirograph. My favorite example was two members who independently said they would try to show up early enough to beat Bob into the space because they knew he was always the first one there. Even though he was the first one there because Bob was sleeping at the coworking space, it was heartwarming to know they were playing the same game and connected to each other on that basis. There were countless other examples of people who said they always felt like they could talk to Bob and how open Bob was to listening when they felt there was no one else they could talk to.
We learned so many things about our fallen member and how he had touched everyone individually that it was an incredible healing process and helped many people move on. To this day, members still talk about this event and how much it meant to them in their grieving process. Venting privately is one thing, but a community therapy session was more powerful than I could have ever imagined.
Again, don’t know if this is possible or appropriate for Bill at Cohere, but if you’re considering it, I can’t recommend it enough.
···
On Thursday, March 17, 2016 at 12:48:49 PM UTC-5, Angel Kwiatkowski wrote:
Hello Dear Friends. Cohere had a sad and terrible loss this week. I wanted to share what went down in case your community ever has to face it.
ps. it’s the worst.
“But most importantly (as I learned), it’s not about remembering Bill, but giving your community (and anyone else who knew Bill) the opportunity to see the entire breadth of the spirograph.”
This perfectly describes what all of us do, every day, in the face of success and tragedy and everything in between.
Sometimes it’s easy to get caught up in the grind of our businesses and our lives, and lose track of that important reality. But if we forget it we forget why coworking stands out from the crowd.
Thanks for adding this story, Oren. 
-Alex
···
On Tuesday, March 22, 2016, [email protected] [email protected] wrote:
Angel, I’m really sorry to hear the news about Bill and thank you so much for sharing this with the group. I’m sending as many good vibes and virtual hugs to Fort Collins as I can right now.
I read your blog post and found your spirograph analogy to be extremely moving and apt.
I had a similar thing happen when a member passed away from a complication with alcohol abuse and medications last summer. Let’s call him Bob. Like Bill, Bob had left the community shortly before and his passing was a shock to the entire community.
Bob had actually left our community on a rather bad note and I felt conflicted on what to do when I learned about his passing. For the first day or two, I didn’t share the information and everything was business as usual as no one in the community had found out. I conferred with my staff and some of our oldest members and they all suggested to not announce it and to not publicly recognize Bob’s passing. This didn’t sit well with me and I decided that we had to announce it and at the suggestion of someone else who knew him (not a member), I decided to host a wake in Bob’s honor.
The only reason I’m bringing any of this up is that you wrote there’s no manual for what to do in this type of situation. I felt the exact same way. I was completely clueless on how to handle it and felt in many ways that I was responsible for handling this. Bob died penniless and donated his body to science. There would be no funeral or memorial of any kind for him if I didn’t take action. And despite going against what many said to do, we held the wake. And it was the best thing we could have ever done.
I’m not sure if you’ve opened this up to your community via announcement and then discussed it informally or whether you’ve had an event, but I would absolutely recommend hosting an event if you can to remember Bill. But most importantly (as I learned), it’s not about remembering Bill, but giving your community (and anyone else who knew Bill) the opportunity to see the entire breadth of the spirograph. My favorite example was two members who independently said they would try to show up early enough to beat Bob into the space because they knew he was always the first one there. Even though he was the first one there because Bob was sleeping at the coworking space, it was heartwarming to know they were playing the same game and connected to each other on that basis. There were countless other examples of people who said they always felt like they could talk to Bob and how open Bob was to listening when they felt there was no one else they could talk to.
We learned so many things about our fallen member and how he had touched everyone individually that it was an incredible healing process and helped many people move on. To this day, members still talk about this event and how much it meant to them in their grieving process. Venting privately is one thing, but a community therapy session was more powerful than I could have ever imagined.
Again, don’t know if this is possible or appropriate for Bill at Cohere, but if you’re considering it, I can’t recommend it enough.
On Thursday, March 17, 2016 at 12:48:49 PM UTC-5, Angel Kwiatkowski wrote:
Hello Dear Friends. Cohere had a sad and terrible loss this week. I wanted to share what went down in case your community ever has to face it.
ps. it’s the worst.
–
Visit this forum on the web at http://discuss.coworking.com
You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups “Coworking” group.
To unsubscribe from this group and stop receiving emails from it, send an email to [email protected].
For more options, visit https://groups.google.com/d/optout.
–
The #1 mistake in community building is doing it by yourself.
Join the list: http://coworkingweekly.com
Listen to the podcast: http://dangerouslyawesome.com/podcast
Thanks, Oren! Super thoughtful and sorry you lost a member too.
Angel
···
On Thursday, March 17, 2016 at 11:48:49 AM UTC-6, Angel Kwiatkowski wrote:
Hello Dear Friends. Cohere had a sad and terrible loss this week. I wanted to share what went down in case your community ever has to face it.
ps. it’s the worst.